I really don’t like being nervous. I get nauseous, can’t eat, and don’t sleep well. That was me basically all weekend. I have been trying to figure out if I want to continue with a graduate degree or go directly into the workforce. Somewhere between Sunday and Monday I made my decision and yesterday, I actually put in motion going into the workforce instead of doing a graduate degree. I think between Saturday morning and Wednesday morning, I ate 4 actual meals because I was too anxious to eat anything else.
Making huge decisions about the future has always given me anxiety, an issue I am slowly working through. But, I have learned that as I make decisions with confidence that, even if my decision is wrong, I am going to stick with it because God won’t let me fail, I have less and less anxiety every time. Is it fully resolved? By no means. Is it getting better? Yes. And, in the process, I am becoming more confident in the decisions I make and in my refusal to change my decision. I’m working on this in small doses – once I do my hair for the day, I don’t change it unless I go to the gym; once I decide what I am eating for lunch, I am not wishy-washy about it. While I would love to only make small changes right now, changing what I am doing after graduation 30 days before graduation is not a small change. It is pretty major and requires a lot of work.
Speaking of work, I had better go work and prepare for my meetings today. In case you wondering why I have so many meetings, 3 of my 4 classes this semester are project based and 2 have customers so I meet with my team and our customers on a weekly basis. Anyways, off I go! Y’all have a great day!
